Polly Ester, You're My Hero

So I'm a little bit late on recounting the things I am thankful for this year (which would mostly consist of sunshine, antidepressants, coffee, the ability to walk upright, and literacy), but I'd be remiss if I didn't give a shout out to one underrated hero of mine: Ms. Heather Havrilesky, AKA Polly Ester.


This brilliant writer provided me with endless hours of entertainment back in the days when I fucked around on the internet for 75% of my workday. (Sadly that figure is drastically reduced these days.) As a writer for the now defunct Suck.com from 1996-2001, which is legendary in my book, she had a solid five year run of consistently capturing the angst of, and simultaneously skewering, the urban hipster better than anyone else I've read. And I'm including the likes of Douglas Coupland and Dave Eggers here -- of course they're good, but there's a facility to her writing and an unmistakable quality of just being so SPOT ON that Heather does better than anyone else.

In particular, I want to point out her series of columns on men and women to avoid. (Here's the first one.) These are absolute classics and resonate with anyone who's done a lot of dating in their career. My favorites are Mr. Double Standard and Mr. Flinchy, for the record. Again, spot on.

Do yourself a favor and check these columns out. Preferably while slacking off at work. They are truly hilarious.

Here's a taste. In one of her later columns, she did a roundup list of "possible reasons you might want a man." Here's number 6:
Men are traditionally expected to make money and support their women. Even though you find this concept sort of dehumanizing, well, so are wearing ass pants and giving blow jobs, both of which you've done for years now without complaint.

Heather's current blog, Rabbit Blog, is also rad. But not updated anywhere near often enough.