Monday, July 31, 2006

Important Terms

Here's one I've been meaning to do for a long time now. This post is designed to clarify the true definitions of a number of terms which are, disturbingly, used interchangeably. Please pay attention.

Monkeying Around
Monkeying around is when you're hanging out, possibly with the kids, teasing them, giggling, maybe playing tag or pillow fighting. This is an innocent term meant to describe lighthearted frolicking.

Used in a sentence:
OK everybody, quit monkeying around and come to dinner!

Funny Business
Funny business is a term for mildly illicit sexual contact. Like if you were hooking up with a coworker and you sometimes made out in the copy room, that would be funny business. It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with work though, that was just the first thing that came to mind. The sex (or sexual contact) in and of itself could be just great, but it's the circumstances that surround it that lend the air of malfeasance.

Used in a sentence:
Fine Brad, you can stay over, but no funny business.

Messing Around
Everyone pretty much knows this one, or at least they should. Messing around is jolly behavior that may be a little detached and/or poorly thought out, but is essentially harmless. It can apply to makeout situations, but it can also apply to those occasions where really you're generally just sitting around doing nothing of any consequence.

Used in a sentence:
I meant to go to the party, but I got caught up messing around with that dude from next door who keeps coming over to watch American Idol.
The Zubrick brothers were always too busy messing around playing Dungeons & Dragons to meet girls, which is why they were both virgins until their early 30's.

Roughhousing is a term used to describe aggressive sex, possibly S&M but not generally so organized as that, and definitely no costumes or whips. Making up after a rancorous quarrel can cause roughhousing, or sometimes just whiskey and hot weather. I think this happens most often in trailer parks.

Used in a sentence:
I'm sorry I can't meet you for brunch, but last night unexpectedly descended into some serious roughhousing between me and the old man, and I am plum beat.

Monkey Business
This is gay anal sex.

Used in a sentence:
Mitchell always meant to get married and have kids, but by the time he was old enough, he was really into monkey business.

Horseplay is no laughing matter. This term connotes anal rape.

Used in a sentence:
No horseplay.